it started out as an okay day.

i was the singspiration leader.

as i was sharing for 'abba father' i wept. ):

i thought of a zillion things..

why my life is so wrecked,

why did i drift so far away from God,

why is it that i never go to fellowship,

why is it that almost everyday i have to feel sad,

why is it that no one is there to stand up for me,

why did i forsake God,

why God didn't give up on me,

why i cannot talk to anyone about my deepest deepest feelings,

why i needed friends badly...............

the lyrics of Abba Father goes like this:

Abba Father let me be,

Yours and yours alone.

Let my will forever be,

yours and yours alone.

Never let my heart grow cold,

Never let me go.

Abba Father let me be,

Yours and Yours alone.

i think, one thing, i had really drifted away from God.

and i was really really guilty, so i wept.

yesterday we had bbq, and then came along a marshmellow fight. WAHAHHAA.

we melted the marshmellows and ate them. at first it was only to dirty the mouth. then they started using the hands and splashing it onto people's faces. in the end almost all of us were marshmellow dirty.

hahahah.

i really loved yesterday.

can i really go on loving the fellowship?

will i one day be afraid to go back again?

afraid that i will be hurt once more..?

can't we always keep up to this genuine-ness?

pls dont repeat the cycle.. esp. when im so happy once again..

really many many thanks to those who cheered me up and encouraged me. (:

there were of cos many of you.. u make me so touched, and i just feel like crying once more.

i guess this is just one part of my spiritual battle that i am weak, tired and weary.

for even youths grow tired and weary, this is part of growing up isn't it?

lets change this battle into one that will make me even stronger yeah? (:

i can do it, lets do it together. (: